Celebrating Life with Others

A photo taken from Joe's on the Green, in Poipu. Neil, Bruce, Raymond and Mechtild made the time to celebrate, and treat me to breakfast. What an amazing 47th to 48th birthday year!

So many things to be grateful for
- greencard, (to Neiloh, Bruce and Phoebs I give special thanks...and to all the many others, who have supported me in this process)

travel (thanks to my part time position with United Airlines)- many times first class: LA and week cruise to Mexico; first trip back to family and friends in South Africa in 7 years; meet Wilma in Toronto to see Joan Boaz; visit Kate in Salt Lake City; reconnect with Louise in Sydney and visit Daniel and Julia; Washington DC and reconnecting with my much loved in-laws; exotic Bali -...

wemoon weekly writers' group: kokee forest retreat, breastalation, barking sands retreat and so many creative moments each week when we get together to share, dig deep or play lightly-

fullmoon bonfires and dancing and dreaming and drinking bubbly and eating chocolate and making and wearing masks-

secure and beautiful home and supportive, wonderful, generous husbands-

walks on beautiful beaches both alone and with fabulous friends -

and to celebrate and mark this fabulous milestone (48 years on planet earth) carrot cake, champagne, breakfasts, lunches, bonfires, body painting, and so many many gifts and calls and cards and e-mails!!!! So incredibly grateful for this beyond my wildest dreams life!

Movie: Daughter of Keltoum

If it wasn’t for my friend, Edith’s recommendation, I would not have persevered with this gem . Dry and stark challenging landscapes in which the story moves slowly mirrors at once the lack of moisture in these wemoon’s lives, but also begins to nudge the conscious that it is in the looks and what is not said or done that there is a great richness. I am so grateful that I didn't fall into the trap of watching only that to which I am accustomed : this movie proved once again that all is not as it seems. This movie illustrates different lives and values – or are they really different?

Daughter of Keltoum.

Boobelation: celebrating breasts

On arriving at Pakala, an often deserted beach on the west side of the island of Kauai, in the late afternoon, we wonder whether the Menehunes (magic little people on Kauai) prepared a driftwood and palm frond shelter for us? Probably surfers or local fishermen had created it, but right now we have this stretch of soft oyster colored beach to ourselves. We place the champagne, strawberries and cream; and paints, glitter and sparkles in this structure's shade while bare breasted, we collect driftwood for our bonfire. On this August eve of the full moon we paint our own breasts, drink champagne, tell boob stories and dance.

A friend, just over forty, after a mastectomy had reconstructive surgery and had a party to welcome her new boob. She painted her boobs. Despite being diagnosed with breast cancer, she chose to celebrate her breasts. This is the inspiration for expanding our weekly wemoon’s writing group to include reading poetry about breasts, writing andsharing our own breasts' stories, painting them and then drinking a toast - and another - and dancing - and rejoicing.

Red triangles, purple lightening flashes, multi-colored dots, waves of pink, yellow, green and spirals of color eventually extend beyond our boobs and onto our tummies. Five woman between the age of forty and sixty-five play like children. We take photos. We put aside our modesty and judgment and revel in the diversity and ability to create an evening that we enjoy.

What really matters

I notice the date and realize I first blogged two years ago ...but this is my first entry for this year.

Up before the sunrise and its pre-show, edged the clouds with watermelon tinsel. Then the clouds laid a huge golden sphere. I was reminded of watching gold being poured.

Zeitgeist shocks us into power of love

At www.zeitgeist.com you can watch a three part video for free which is bound to bring new insights.

Part One explains where our solar system first introduced into our consciousness the notions of light and dark. It also very clearly explains why 'Son of God', December 25th, Born of virgin, Crucified, Resurrected, twelve, 3 kings, star in East, repeat in many mytholgies.

Part Two explains the difference between implosians and explosians ion the 9/11 tragedy. The mystery of thermite and NORAD's inability to do what it was set up to do is also explored.

Part ThreeSee what the central bank is set up to do and why federal income tax is illegal. See also the connection with war and profits.

And now my question: what are we to do?
The video quotes Ram Dass reminding us of our beauty, power and love. Also Jimi Hendrix saying "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."

Walking on Pakala's Beach this morning I wondered whether I would have sat as transfixed looking at a video that showed a tranquil ocean and palm trees. Somehow my mind loves the horror and shock of an evil beyond my imagination, and yet if we are all one, then this is part of my deeply buried subconscious. This is shocking. She who loves peace and love, has the capability of such horror? Is it the addiction to movement? To drama of some sort? How can we dream a different story into being? One in which our attention and energy goes into love and peace? Sri Aurobindo, if I understand him correctly, says:

Meditate. Do nothing. Be still. Be silent.

Can our solution be so deceptively simple?

Expanded Worlds

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Green Mierta sports car – top down, a gloriously balmy Kauaian September summer’s morning; and the company of a wonderful girlfriend as we head from Kalaheo for at least an hour’s walk and talk on the vast sand at Kekaha Beach.

Sights as we drive and have the trade winds blow through our hair include scarlet Poinciana still in umbrella bloom; vast stretches of cerise bougainvillea growing wild, splashing the dry Westside landscape with vivid color; recently harvested sugar cane fields free rust red soil to lift and stain nearby everything; the wild west feel of the wooden structures in Waimea town; and the vast expanse of cobalt blue Pacific Ocean stretching all the way to the smudged silhouette of the Forbidden Island on the south western horizon. Neither one of us seem to ever tire of appreciating the incredible gifts Kauai so generously gives us.

While there is much sharing and catching up on each other’s busy lives – She has just been in many paddling races and her team has done well; she is in a new relationship and is enjoyed being adored; and I have just returned from the Maui Writers’ Retreat; am applying for a position that enables a lot of travel - what I most want to blog about today, is what I shared with her about a new concept, a new word; two new words.

The new words are ‘compersian’ and ‘freebly’, and the story to illustrate the concept is that of three monks and a hot air balloon. I choose this story deliberately to expand the original use of this word.

Three monks approach a hot air balloon so excitedly and joyously, that the tour organizer asks his colleague: “You’re sure they know only one is able to go up with us?”

The colleague walks out to meet the monks and checks with them.

“Yes we know, but when one goes we all go!”

To celebrate in another’s happiness and good fortune is compersian. Compersian is the opposite of jealousy.

The Kerista community first coined the word, compersian. My wish is that this word’s use expands beyond a sexual context. The Kerista community also spoke about feeling frubbly. In that context it meant being happy, when another touched someone you loved in an uplifting and enriching manner.

My dream is that we feel frubbly and practice compersian in all areas of our lives.

Writers' Wings: The Maui Writers' Retreat and Conference

Like every Maui Writers' Retreat this one began local style. The kahuna, draped in a red sarong marked with black tattoo like design, opened the 2007 six day event. Around his neck was a necklace of green leaves, and he carried a bunch of bright green, feather-like ti leaves and a conch. Four times he stopped, and raised the mauvy-pink shell to his lips. Four times, the deep sound resonated around the Aulani Ballroom. This ritual continued with a traditional Hawaiian permission chant. He asked his ancestors to bless this gathering. In anticipation he thanked us all for the words we write that will nurture the future.

Anticipation. Frustration. Exasperation. Intensity. Perspiration. Inspiration. A week of growth and expansion followed, monitored and mentored by Dan Millman; Dan Millman and co. The 'co' refers to the other retreatants in the Non-Fiction; Mind, Body, Spirit track.

Together we went beyond the air conditioned Wailea Hotel conference room: we met archetypes recast with a real Guinevere and Lancelot in Path to Camelot; were introduced to a former nun's Blind Faith; opened letters with love from the mysterious Bea; explored simple practices to Make Room for Spirit; followed a couple's desperate search to salvage and transform their relationship; and empathised with the child from Mexico who felt invisible and alone in the 'Land of Opportunity'.

We worked way into the night. We turned re-worked pages in for copying before 7:30 each morning. We found out what distinguishes an amateur writer from a professional. We practised the craft of writing. We were given writers' wings. Where we fly with these wings, is up to us.

A spilt life

I wake up just past midnight
And feel like something is missing
I've lost something precious
It's as if I spilt milk
And I can not place it back in the bottle
I'm choked up with tears
...and longing
Where has that happy, carefree me gone?
Why this indescribable sadness
...and hurt?
Living on the surface
suddenly plunging deeper
Touching regrets and longings
Struggling back to the surface
I may drown in these depths
Drown in wanting it to be different
other
than what is -
Better to accept and
appreciate and
focus on
being grateful
I
fl
oat
back
to the surface
survive

Belly dancers extraordinaire

Tuesday night belly dancing on Kauai - what an unexpected delight

The setting: Cafe Coco, on the east side ...open air funky with exotic orchids dangling from the sorta canvas sorta bamboo ceiling... plastic white tables and chairs. Mostly dark except for the two big spotlights for the dancers ...tea lights and citronella candles to ward off the mossies. Order at the counter - pumpkin soup and samoosas... and pizza and salad....

It's November and the weather is still barmy and warm. A red carpet is rolled out and a huge silver Bast - you know, the Egyptian cat - is placed close by. Tonight is Tuesday night and the Kauai Belly dancers are going to perform. We have a table in prime position. Last time we'd try to see the show, it had been rained out. Tonight was going to be special - Halloween follow up.

And then the music starts and think exotic ...Music and costumes -black beaded bra with beaded tassles. Black silk chaffony skirt in layers of nothing and a silver coin belt of many layers. Black gloves. Black headdress with almost like a shiny brooch in the center ...and the snake sensuous movements ...and new dancer in turquoise and more movements and floaty sunset scarf that entices and transports....beyond fantasy...Long hair. Veils lifted, so eyes can peer. Eyes dancing. Hair dancing. Bellies swaying. Sweat sheens show looking so natural takes work. Hips vip'ping as they say in Afrikaans but in glorious sensual movements first and then a deliberate vip...coins jangle...And dancer with sword on head and through all the moves ...even going way down and turning on her side and tummy and such like, the sword stays put ...

And then Kunti, named for the sacred ancient Hindu goddess - this gorgeous, long dark haired creature moved and swirled and shook her entire body and I couldn't believe anybody could be so exquisitely full of life and its delishiohshusness...Beautiful body. Curves. Bare tight midriff. Bra of sparkling 'water on oil' colors - pinks and purples and dark green but almost black at the same time - and of course now I don't even know if I've remembered the colors properly.. Hips revealed through spider like web of jewels. Triangular fabric like mermaid tails swishing as she moved like I still can't believe is possible...later she pulled me out of my seat ...and showed me how to sway my hips and shake from the knees ..

I still feel intoxicated by the sheer sensuality and beauty and eroticism or filled up with seeing someone spreading the yumminess of oh doesn't it feel good to have a body and to be able to do magical things with it...just wanted to share that slice of pure yumminess ...

From earthquakes to cleanses and life as usual

Since my last entry Hawaii had an earthquake! We felt the shocks here just after 7 in the morning. We were drinking tea, reading in bed. The bedroom shook. KKCR interrupted their classical selection to confirm that a 6.6 earthquake had shaken the Big Island, but that there was no threat of a tsunami. Kauai didn't have much damage. That was not true for the other islands.

Power outages were the biggest challenge as Honolulu airport choked up. Bruce had gone across to Oahu to run a 30 km race and ended up having to stay the night in a room next to the elevator. When we spoke on cell phones, he said "It's crazy - no traffic lights, no restaurants open,not even water is available!"

The Big Island was hit the worst. Mudslides and building damages and a few people hurt - no fatalities thankfully.

And internally I experienced my own turmoil. I began the master cleanse on Friday. Maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. Was it the toxins that created the headache and body aches, or was it my own crankiness when I denied myself my usual coffee, tea, cheese, wine and food!? I lasted two days - well nearly two days. On day two I had some tofu and nuts. On day three I had half a papaya and salad and fish. On day four I had half a papaya, two ryvitas and boiled egg ...and salad and fish. I even sneaked two sips from my husband's coffee. And today day five - a double cappuccino and fruit and granola... somehow I just know it is too difficult for me. It separates me from my tribe - the people around me who are eating and drinking as they usually do. I guess to so this while still engaged in society one has to have discipline like steel. It feels like the only way I will be able to do this is to go away on a retreat and cleanse myself even of contact and 'normal' routines.

Life as usual - well not quite as usual ...I did have a wonderful spa day courtesy of my friend Maureen on Sunday. Lounge at the pool, swim laps, take a power walk along Poipu's coast, yoga class, face packs and hair masques and steam and jacuzzi. A perfectly relaxing day. I lay reading The Mythic Path - trying to identify which story I am living.

And talking of myths, we're watching, from Netflix, Joseph Campbell's Mythos Part two. I love how he extrapolates the universal message all cultures appear to have from the localised or regional manifestation of the story.

And the myth theme seems to be all round me. My Shift magazine speaks of a dominator myth and all our heroes and many statues being those of military significance. What new myth can unfold? How do we create peace and a harmony between seeming pairs of opposites? A new dance between the feminine and the masculine? Da Vinci speaks of Pi perfect balance?

Well enough from me ...we're off to join friends down at Poipu for drinks and pupus at sunset...

Yesterday I’m in heaven and its rainbows and hopes and I’m like a purring cat. Today I’m not!

The day started well. Usual ritual of orange juice, tea, daily readings, coffee and papaya. My ‘day off’ and I meet a girlfriend for a walk on the east side. We comment on how lucky we are to enjoy this warm water, and soul nourishing sight of clear, turquoise ocean water as we walk. We stop and sit on a log and chat about the myths we are living. We swim in delicious, clear and enfolding warm water. We walk back to the parking lot, and this is where my day suddenly takes on a different quality.

A car that starts. Fires ups and then dies. The engine turns over but there’s no vooma to move. I try to rev it, she has no oomph and stalls. If I start, and take my foot off the gas she sort of idles. Dare I try to drive and she jerks and splutters and dies. I know this pattern. For the last two months this happens every two/three weeks - this is the fourth time I promise myself, “Enough!”

On most days she drives like a dream. Light on gas too. Only cost me $500, and another $300 to repair the fuel pump. So the benefits are clear. She doesn’t cost me much. She’s an island car that gets me to where I want to be. No frills. Her air conditioner is wind-down-the-window-style. She’s a red, 1989, Pontiac Le Mans.

Today when she did the splutter, hiccup, stall routine I felt frustrated. I fell straight into poor- me zone. Why did I have to put up with this piece of shit car?

“Well get a ‘real’ job, earn some ‘real’ money! For God’s sake stop whining and do something about this.”

Caught between paradigms. Between belief systems. My ‘old’ system says: “If you want it, you’ll have to make it happen.”

There goes that other voice - “Gratitude Sharon! You have a home. You live on Kauai. Your day has a relaxed rhythm, and you even get to enjoy a walk on the beach most days. Perspective. What will you have to sacrifice to get a new car?”

Maybe it's not a new car - just a different, more reliable car...

A day in Kalaheo

Kauai Womoon: Wednesday, October 11th 2006

A grey sky but streaks of pink show the sun is rising. We go in his silver GMC truck to the lot up on Puu Road. We are hoping to see a sign. As we drive I notice a shaft of an intense colored rainbow streaked with oblique rays of sunlight.

We agree that it is a sign of hope.

Down the steep concrete road to the property. He pulls right into the sugar cane, so I can sit on the tailgate.

Nick - our future neighbor? is working on the land to the east. We stop and talk with him. His girlfriend is originally from Rhodesia , but lived in Durban, after they left what is now known as Zimbabawe. He asks me if I can speak Afrikaans. Now that is not something I expected. After all we ‘re half way around the world, on an island in the Pacific. “It’s a sign” says Neil, “you’re home.”

We drive back to the Kalaheo coffee shop, meeting place for locals- Bagel Benny for Neil; veggie benny for moi - and coffees.

Driving home I make two calls - one to Edith checking whether we have a movie night tonight, and the other returning Mo’s call. This Kauai womoon has a wealth of friends - all haoles - ‘European’ imports.


Today is another day in my studio. Glorious time to read and write. Through the screens I see the shades of green and I know it’s true: I live on a tropical island in the middle of the Pacific.